Hmm.. finally using my laptop in peace now. So many problems with it still waste 88 cents to go SP to fix the problem and another 88 cents to go home... -__-"

Tomorrow i am meeting my primary school friend to walk around SP. The world is really small... after losing contact for years now we meet again in the same school, same course~! :D Suddenly, it just triggers all my past memories that i have in my Primary School. Think Back, I think i have really grown in my sec school life... the me in the past is forever quiet and laid back... but now... i am much more a confident person and open person. Yawnzzz... it's past 12... time for me to sleep... the SP tour tmr is morning... gonna wake up early...

11:54 PM; undramatically.Y

Reading from the title of the post... of coz you would know that I actually cried. This is the 2nd time i cried becoz of Area 14. The first time i cried was becoz i was totally stressed up when so many things were not done and being bombarded by many comments and questions during the meeting. Today, was the second time.

There is suppose to be a song standardisation for the campfire now but i didn't go becoz my parents dun allow me to be out so late and somemore it is bound to end very late. I am angry with them when they scolded me and say :" Why everytime your meeting is always so late? Can't it be in the afternoon or morning why always so late?"

"Because everyone is busy in the day with either school or work. Therefore meetings are always after 7pm" I replied, thinking that maybe they could understand the rationale in having meetings after 7pm. But... NO~!

" So becoz they have to study and work so meetings must be late, so if ppl work later than 7pm, u got to meeting at midnight la~!" When I heard this from the mouth of my parents, i knew they dun understand what i am going thru. No point in explaining more, becoz the more i explain, the more scoldings i get out of it.

I wanted to go for the meeting becoz it is part of my responsibility. I am a Cadet Inspector, not only a QTSS Unit CI, but also an Area 14 CI. How can i run away from Area? Isn't that very irresponsible? I feel so much, feel so wanted to do everything i can do to contribute to NPCC, be it area or unit, but it seems that i can't do very much with parents who doesn't put priority the same as i do. They seem to never understand what i am going through, they see me helping the Area and Unit a stupid thing to do, they feel that spending time to work, to study is better than always making myself busy to run here and there to do what they think are stupid things to do. I find that i am doing some shitty job ending up earning and gaining nothing.

Maybe u find it stupid, it is just being unable to attend an area meeting and i kicked a big fuss out of it. But then, this is becoz, my passion for this cca is very deep that even though i passed out as a cadet, a nco, i still make it a point to go thru the Cadet Inspector course and continue to serve this cca. Because it is this cca that taught me many things, that moulded me. It is just like a parent to me, nurturing me from a little kid to a mature teenager. Trying to stop me from doing NPCC related things is just like taking my parents away from me. Of coz i am heart-broken.

Should i still perservere on and do what i really wanted to do? Or should i be a good kid to them and listen to whatever they ask me to do?

8:57 PM; undramatically.Y

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle Adversity? ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Don't tell GOD how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your GOD is!

Thanks 'Bean'!

12:38 PM; undramatically.Y

Today, Yong Ni and I are suppose to meet @ the same old place where we always have our Area Meeting at 7pm. But no one turned up. Today is suppose to be the deadline for the Oath Taking Ceremony Money, but, haizz, only QTSS and OSS handed up the money. Other units who still owe the money did not turn up so i went home instead after waiting for like half an hour.

Thinking that they may be late, i went to walk around that area and shopped ALONE! Haha, suddenly feel like a LONER~! Hmm, went home with a pair of slippers since my one is like going to spoil liao. With my angbao money, suddenly dunno why feel like splurging all the money I have~! I happy can liao~! =) Within these 2 days i am like spending about 50 bucks liao lol. -__-" Must tell myself not to spend anymore.. must CONTROL~! CONTROL~! If not i will be burning a big big big gigantic hole in my pocket liao~!

11:02 PM; undramatically.Y